Remy's in School!

How shall I start?  Where do I begin?

As many of you know, this Summer was packed full of different situations and events resulting in a lot of soul searching. 

Remy's sister  was at home all Summer creating very little space and little quietness which allowed for stress to build and build.  Our volunteers for Remy's Room were called elsewhere, so Remy's program was slow at home.

With the baby requiring me all the time, Alex was pretty much the person taking care of the older children.  This caused burn-out.

How would be get back our energy and a routine that worked for us?

THANK YOU, PUBLIC SCHOOL!  We love Canada!

One day, Alex and I came to an agreement to see if he could attend school, the public school.  Don't things always happen in ways that you would not have imagined?

We called our Resource person to come help us start the paperwork to see what school situation we could get Remy into for this year, even though the school year had already begun.  Not even two weeks later, I received a phone call from the Special Education Resource Teacher from our local school.  Within a week, we made an appointment for her and the Area Facilitator to come to our home to meet with Remy.

The meeting started off formal, conservative, until the moment the Area Facilitator announced that we basically could have the spot if we wanted!  We asked for a small classroom setting.  So they explained that there is one small class setting, and it happened to be in the same town where we lived... in fact, close to where we live.  Typically there would be a wait list to get into such a classroom, but another child had been withdrawn from the program (because they finally got their spot for IBI funding) just before our application was received.  Coincidence?  Cosmically beautiful.

We went to visit the school the following week, and Remy started the next day for an hour.  We would transition him slowly adding an hour per week, but just last week (when he started to take the bus), we could not pick him up with our vehicle, so it worked out that he could start full time starting last week!

We have SO much to be grateful for, let me attempt to count the endless blessings:

1. We got Remy into a very special small classroom setting where there are four TEACCH trained adults to 6 children on the Spectrum.
2. The staff at the school are fabulous to work with!  We are working TOGETHER to help Remy transition successfully to full time public school.  For example, they put in provisions for when the class is doing something with gluten or other substances that we help Remy to avoid.  They monitor him closely to make sure he stays within his special diet. 
3. The bus routine is very enjoyable and reliable for Remy (and us).  The bus driver and his monitor are very excited and enthusiastic when picking him up and dropping him off.
4. With the bus picking him up and dropping him off, I have more time to take care of other things that have been left behind... it's also a lot more peaceful, and the peace helps me be centred for the hectic times.
5. Remy gets to interact with his peers, and when he comes home, he plays with his sister.

So far, we are thrilled that he's going to school, a place we feel is safe and provides him with different stimuli that we wouldn't be able to provide at home.  Many other things are also happening, so Remy has been extra hyperactive at home recently, but I believe with some detective work and some persistent love, he'll settle down.

Looking forward to his first full week of school (last week ended with a PA Day).  Thank you very much for reading!

Enjoy wherever you are,

Reflections: one year since attending New Frontiers

Wow, how times flies.

 It's been almost a year since I came back recharged and energized to run Remy's home program after returning from a training called New Frontiers.  I met with a group of passionate, energetic, loving parents (and caregivers) from around the world. 

With Bears, author of Happiness is a Choice

Aside from the classroom content, I really appreciate spending time alone with nature, and spending time with my friends.  We shared tears, stories, ideas and hope.  The support was awesome.  To makes things even sweeter, Facebook has allowed us to keep in touch, supporting each other every day.

I am grateful.

So much has happened since that wonderful week in November one year ago.

From 3 volunteers, we jumped up to 6 volunteers at a certain peak, then crashed down to zero in mid Summer.  We decided that we would move forward with a strong recruitment campaign as well as fund raising campaign only to burn out.  So, we decided to let the program go.  It's was over... at least the dream of a full time home program.  But we still maintain the attitude of unconditional love and acceptance. 

We welcomed Remy's baby brother.  By September, Remy's sister started a new school, and now Remy has started transitioning to a public school in a small classroom setting.  The teachers and staff have been supportive, for which we are grateful!

Our home has changed form so many times, it's impossible to keep up, but we are grateful for the warmth and safety it provides us.

We're doing HANDLE helping Remy's sensory development. 

We're keeping abreast of Remy's special diet, and now we've started to eat together as a family.  We've established a don't-bring-anything-Remy-can't-have rule, and it's been helping a lot.



Ah... though it's been a year since New Frontiers, I feel that we're always embarking on new frontiers.

Cheers and blissful blessings,

 



Isms Past and Present (Part 1)

As all parents of children with autism know, our kids have some pretty unique repetitious behaviours.  These behaviours can be cute, annoying, self-injurious, subtle, and very peculiar.  There are different ways to look at these behaviours.  Some people call it stims (short for self-stimulations), but I've come to call them "isms" as coined by the Kaufmans when they were recovering their son, Raun, from autism.

I reflect back once in a while to see how Remy has evolved with regards to his isms, and I wanted to share my observations with you.

Present Isms

Remy's Current Top 5 Isms:

1.  Rips paper

He started ripping in the Spring or early Summer of 2011.  At the time, he started ripping coloured construction paper in the Play Room.  If he couldn't get a hold of something of a thin texture (like newsprint or computer paper) to rip, he would resort to cardboard and plants.  In fact, he ripped SO many plants that we did an impromptu plant sale last Fall. 

His ripping preference has evolved, though.  He now chooses to rip only new colouring books or books of that material.  His dad calls him a paper snob. 



What do the rippings spell?

"My name is Remy" "I love to rip"

2.  Vocalizes loudly

This ranges from yelps (people have commented over the phone, "is that your dog?") to sounds like "up a hoo".  He also laughs and giggles uncontrolably sometimes.  We've come to deal with his early morning or in-the-middle-of-the-night bursts of vocal babble.  We accept it.  I am very grateful to Remy's dad for masking his noise level to let the rest of the house rest.

3.  Holds two items

I've noticed since March 2012 or so that he's been consistently holding one item in each hand.  Now, the evolution of items has certainly changed.  I think it started out with two small metal cars (you know, the Hotwheels and like cars), then two stuffed ducks, one stuffed bear and one monkey when the ducks were in the wash... he's currently holding a toy train and a small plastic rooster (that we refer to as a "chicken").  These items change all the time.  But we have noticed that he will get very upset if he cannot find one or both of the items.  The items in the hands are like a security blanket for him.

Notice the two small cars in front of him

4.  Flings water

So when he goes to the washroom to wash his hands, he's actually got the two items IN his hands while turning on the facet, washing his hands, turning off the facet and then FLINGING the water off his hands and toys (the items)!  He whole bathroom floor and vanity get soaked.  This is one of the challenges that Remy's dad and I have been working on.  How do we control the situation?  Well, right now we try to lock the bathroom door.  Yes, this does create some inconvenience - a topic for another post.

5.  Eats from the cast iron pan

It seems to be that he's been doing this as long as he's been ripping.  Fortunately, he knows how to be careful with the heat from the pan.  When we serve him food in a bowl, he'll start eating, but if that food gets a little cold, he'll bring his bowl of food over to the pan and pour it in.  He even takes out a clean spoon or a wooden spoon to eat from the pan!



What's in the pan?

These are the top 5 isms that still go on every day.  Things change over time.  I believe that these isms serve a purpose whether they are for self-soothing, a developmental purpose or just a habit of enjoyment.  I do also believe that if the underlying need for them isn't there, the ism itself would also no longer be needed. 

I accept and appreciate my son's isms, and see them as a way of understanding my child.

Seize the day!

Transitioning

The only constant is change.  Nothing remains the same forever.  And our program has taken on another turn.

Since the Summer, our volunteers one by one had other obligations to attend to, so Remy has spent most of his time with us at home or outside, but with us. 

We've decided to no longer recruit volunteers and train them for the Play Room.  We are grateful  for the kind and generous people who have come into Remy's Room.  And now we're opening new challenge's for Remy so that he can grow at a different level. 

Alex and I will boths till be using the Play Room to play with Remy, and also keep it as his personal space where he has 99% control.  So, this means we are transitioning to a Life-style program.  We continue with the attitude of unconditional love and acceptance wherever we are.

It's an exciting journey of growth!  Thank you for joining us.

Blessings to you,

Mid Summer Update

Hi, Everyone!

It's been a while since my last post... and since my last post many things have taken place.  Hope your Summer great.  Here's a little update on our lives.

REMY WELCOMES his BABY BROTHER!

Looking for food...

Biting on duck while waiting for lunch

REMY HAS BEEN ATTENDING DAY CAMP AT NOVA's ARK

Since the beginning of July, Remy has been going to Nova's Ark once a week, and we've seen great benefits already!  On Remy's first day, his dad reported that Remy took the volunteer's hand and went off to play right away... when Alex went back to pick up Remy 6 hours later, the volunteers looked exhausted, but Remy was still running and jumping about :)  Alex reports that Remy seems to feel very much at home being with the young volunteers.  We're glad that he's out doing other things, being with other people while we get some relief at home.


Thank you so much to our friends and family who have contributed to this form of recreation for Remy (and respite for us).  Your generosity is always always always very appreciated and remembered!

REMY PLAYS AND JOINS WITH THIS SISTER

The Running Game

NEW WEBSITE, FACEBOOK PAGE, YOUTUBE CHANNEL, TWITTER

Alex has been busy revamping Remy's Recovery program.  Despite the challenges of taking care of Remy full time (he's taken over as I've been dedicated to nursing and growing the baby), he's managed to create a new website and online social media pages.  

LOOKING FOR iPAD

In the search for anything that would augment the communication Remy has with us, we've been researching the benefits of using and iPad with a communication app for persons with communicative disorders.  So far the cheapest we've seen is $399 on sale at FutureShop and $30 for a case that will protect it.  If you know how we could get an iPad for free or very discounted, please let us know!  We'd rather have the iPad sooner rather than later to see how it could enhance the communication between us.

YARD SALE FUNDRAISER SEPTEMBER 1!

We're planning to host a yard sale to help us fund raise for the down payment ($2000 USD) for the Son-Rise Program® Intensive.  We are asking neighbours, friends and family who can to donate items we can sell for $50 or more for this event.  As well, we plan to have a bake sale at the same time.  This is your opportunity to free up space in your home for a really great cause!  As well, the items can be promotional for your business to get more attention.  Come support us by donating, volunteering and by spreading the word about our event.Thank you All!  Enjoy your Summer days.  Rainy Hugs and Sunshine Kisses,

A Smile Can Change The World (by Tara)

The following is written by our wonderful, beloved volunteer, Tara.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!  - Kim

AWESOME VOLUNTEERS WANTED!

When I replied to an inconspicuous kijiji ad last summer, I never realized the impact it might have on my life. I had just graduated from Laurier where I was heavily involved in volunteering. After moving back home, I felt a void in my life and knew I wanted to get back into a long-term and fullfilling involvement, but had no idea what that might be.

In training... "we all fall down!"

"I knew I had stumbled upon something incredible" 

From my first contact with Kim (Remy's mom), I could FEEL the love that was in their household, and I knew I had stumbled upon something incredible. My initial hesitation about not being an autism expert or formally trained in treatment of special individuals vanished the more I corresponded with Kim, and after meeting Remy for the first time, I was thoroughly excited to start to get to know this litte (*ahem* I mean, BIG) guy.



Remy loves hugs... and looking at himself in the mirror.

Kim is such a welcoming, loving, and warm volunteer coordinator and has made my time with Remy fabulous. She opened her home to me and trained me passionately and enthusiastically! I felt listened to, and valued. Although I knew very little about Autism, I felt fully prepared to enter the playroom with Remy....
What a special place!! walking into the playroom is like walking into another world where anything you may have previously known is thrown away, and a whole new attitude and approach is adopted. One of love, and fun and seeing possibilities instead of disabilities. One of no-inhibitions and anything-goes.

Questions and Uncertainty

My first few sessions with Remy were full of questions and uncertainty, this was all foreign territory to me, uncharted waters. Although there were so many unknowns- what was Remy doing? what is he trying to say? is what we are doing OK? what are we going to do next? how will I fill 2 whole hours!?!? what if I don't do a good job?- it felt good, and I knew it could only get better. I started with only a few minutes at a time in the playroom (just about all I could handle as it was initially very physically and mentally draining), and gradually built my way up to a full session length of 2 hours. Kim not only offered constructive critisim, but also praised me and sought out my feelings on the session, I was an important part of Remy's team, his family, just as all volunteers are!


Rip... rip...rip...

Attitude

The longer I volunteered with Remy, the more I realized, its not WHAT we do for our time together, but the ATTITUDE with which we enjoy each others company. The longer I stayed with the Son-Rise Program®, the more I let my guarrds down (dropping all the inhibitions I had built up over 22 years!) and learned to let myself enjoy the session in whatever way Remy may want to lead us in. Sometimes we have crazy sessions filled with running, spinning, and jumping, one activity to the next, other times we happily sit in silence for most of the session, just loving each others presence.



Reach!

Working with Remy and his family has been an INCREDIBLE thing in my life, in so many ways. I see progress in Remy in many areas, and knowing I have had the privelge of being involved in that warms my heart. The converse is also true, Remy has helped me grow in so many ways and learn so much about myself. Finally, I have become part of his family and truley cherish the relationship I have with the Laurins.



I love you!

Remy is Special

Remy is the SMARTEST little guy I know, so ingenious in getting what he wants, so liberated in doing exactly what he wants and what makes him happiest. He smiles and laughes and stares are so genuine and pure of heart. He has only the best intentions and no matter what he does in life, he will be amazing at it! Remy never ceases to bring a smile to my face, from his little quirks to his full delightful laugh that I so LOVE to hear! He has been the reason I get out bed on a bad day, and walk around with thoroughly MESSED UP HAIR, beacuse when I am with Remy, nothing else matters, and when I am not with him, the lessons I have learned remain.



Hanging out outside the Play Room

Life-Changing Program

I can not speak highly enough of getting invovled in this life-changing program. Take the first step and get involved, you will not regret it. One things leads to another. Before volunteering with Remy I struggled with depression. Since meeting his family and being involved in their Son-Rise Program, I was also introduced to The Option Institute where I was fortunate to attend a 2 week long retreat where I built upon some of the foundations I learned in the Son-Rise Program. That in itself was a life changing event, and since then I have been so happy and joyful, and so many positive changes have occured in my life. Like I started with, who knew all the wonderful things that were to come when I replied to that ad almost a year ago

Looking through the two way mirror.

with much everlasting love,

Tara

Thank you, Tara, for your love, dedication, inspiration and 3Es!

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See and Count the Blessings!

Tired, Sleepy and HOT

I am tired, sleepy... it's been hot and muggy all day.  Husband was away this evening, the house was a mess, Remy poured things here and there, peed here and there, my daughter kept demanding "I want this (now)" over and over... did I mentioned I was hot and sweaty, trying to clean and please the demands through the contractions? 

Breathe, Kim.  It's OK.  Yes, it was uncomfortable, challenging, and I rather would have been relaxing somewhere in the basement without noise and mess, but that was what I had.

After I finally got both kids in bed, I went into the kitchen just wanting some water and then to retire to my own bed, I saw that there was soaked quinoa that should be cooked.  So I did that.  And after that, I saw that I might as well wash the dishes... and clean the table, sweep the floor, wash the pots - ah, at last!  I pumped myself some water and drank.

Realisation of Countless Blessings
I retreated to my newly painted yellow room, gathered my notebook and charts to fill out for Remy.  I started writing... and I realised how many awesome things Remy did today.  In fact, he's outstanding; I just have to see it.  Despite all the challenges that his sensory "needs" present to me, I am so glad that when the noise settles, and the rippings swept I am able to cherish these precious moments.

Let me just present a few moments for everybody's enjoyment. 

Wiggly tooth

Still wiggling...

"Hurt!"
This morning in Remy's Play Room, Jo was playing with Remy when suddenly he bit her (he's been wiggling a tooth for several days now).  I was taking notes when this happened and didn't see the actual bite.  From there, I watched closely.  Jo said "no, Remy, that hurts.  That hurts."  And she showed him a frown.  Again he went close, and she said "that hurts."  Now, Jo didn't hear this, but I certainly did "hoort" said Remy looking right at her!  he repeated the word "hurt".  He seemed to understand. 

"Aw"
Jo was playing the xylophone when Remy approached her.  She handed him the mallet which he took into his hand.  I think he hit the xylophone twice then threw the mallet on the floor.  Jo's face dropped and said "aw" like out of disappointment.  Immediately, Remy repeated "Aw" - he is definitely listening and responding to us even when we don't realise it.  Jo and I talked about this afterward, of course.  She didn't hear what I did, but will certainly look for these responses from now on.  It's easier sometimes just watching from outside to perceive what is going on.

Greetings
This afternoon, before picking up his sister, Remy and I went to pick up some test results from his ND's office (which happens to be right beside the place where we get our water from).  After obtaining the results, I noticed that Remy was looking right at the receptionist.  It was very cute as his chin just reached the top of the counter to look over.  Before leaving, I got down to Remy's eye level and told him we were leaving and waved, said nothing.  He turned back to the receptionist and said "bye" (not perfect pronunciation, but definitely knew what he was saying) waving (he's still working on this, but his hand does reach higher with every try!) to her.  I couldn't help but just pull my right fist down from the air"yes!"

After we left the ND's, we went into the water store.  Right away, Gary (one of the two gentlemen we see there) greeted Remy with much enthusiasm hold his hand forward as he approached Remy and as Remy approached him.  Remy put his cars into his left hand (he usually holds two items such as cars) and extended his right hand to shake Gary's coupled with a huge smile.  He then took a seat signalling he was comfortable and wanted some fresh water. 

Our visits to the Eco Water store have been examples of growth.  When we first went to the store, I stayed a long time chatting with the manager about water, filtration systems, etc... after the first few visits, Remy became familiar with the friend gentlemen.  I recall him turning around to wave "bye" the first two times we left (I celebrate every time - the gentlemen too).  And every subsequent time, his greetings are more natural and less prompted. 

After Gary stowed the heavy water bottles into my car, I said "bye" to Gary.  Remy was getting ready to go into the car, but realised that it was a good-bye time.  So, he turned and walked to Gary.  I thought he was going to just say "bye" and give a bigger wave (his waves have come a long way since our first visit to the Eco Water store), but he actually gave Gary a big hug! 

I really should video record him going into the store and leaving!

Responding
In the evening after supper, I went on video chat with the kids' Auntie D.  Most of the conversation was between her and Remy's little sister... I was trying to clean up, and prepare for the kids to go to bed.  Randomly, I heard my sister command Remy "clap", and Remy clapped.  I looked at their conversation.  He was in front of the computer looking at her with his hands still at the sides waiting to clap again.  She didn't say anything, so HE said "clap" (may have sounded like "gaAp") and clapped again.  I put down what I was doing to celebrate him, then also threw in another command (this was like his version of Simon Says) "jump, Remy".  Sure enough, he got off the chair and jump a big loud "thud!"  It was a game to him!  So I said "touch your nose", and he touched his nose (and may have also said "nose").  I was very excited!

Alas, I was so tired, hot and sleepy... yet writing, realising the wonderful things Remy did today just fueled me to write this post to share with you.  Thank you, Remy!

And thank YOU for your continued support.  Blessings to you all,

Eating Fermented Vegetables

Almost two weeks ago, we had a consultation with a very knowledgeable autism specialist named Aaron Deland.  During our consult, he mentioned that families who had successful programs, typically covered three components:  1.  a Relationship based Program, 2. biomedical Intervention/Special Diet, and 3. a program for the child's sensory issues such as HANDLE. 

For a diet, he recommended the Body Ecology Diet by Donna Gates.  It's a diet for getting rid of yeast overgrowth.  I absolutely loved the concepts and principles in the book when I first read it over a year ago... even before then, I was already culturing vegetables for natural added sour condiment and probiotics.  Here's photo proof of Remy enjoying this delight:

What are you eating, Buddy?

Mmmm... fermented veggies!

Have a Happy and Healthy day!

VISITING NOVA'S ARK

This past Sunday, we (Remy, his dad, his sister and I) had the privilege to visit Nova's Ark, a paradise of loving volunteers and different kinds of animals tucked away in Brooklin just north of Whitby.  One of Remy's volunteers has dedicated over 100 hours working with the family of animals and great people at Nova's Ark.  She was SO excited that we were coming to visit.  I text her when we arrived, and she came right away to meet to start us on our tour!

Remy started off a little "shy", covering his eyes and walking slowly toward where we were leading him, but little by little as he saw where he was and felt the safety and love in the environment, the more comfortable he became.  To me, it was like one HUGE outdoor Play Room :)

We met Mary-Ann Nova, the founder of Nova's Ark, when we arrived up the walk.  What a wonderful, passionate retired principle who loves all special needs people!  She says that the animals bring people together, but it's the people that keep people together.  For more information about Nova's Ark, please visit:  http://www.novasark.ca/about-us/what-is-novas-ark/.

Tina takes Remy to see a real live goat.

Wow!  a kangaroo outside of Australia!

Looking at the kangaroo and walabies.

Horses, camels, small donkeys... what else?

Petting a pig named Rooter.

Remy meets more friends... what's with pulling up the shirt?

Nice smile!  

Piggy on the belly, please!

Remy just can't get enough, and laughs!

Running in the field.

Uh-oh!  Remy dropped his car...

Remy picks up his car in the turbulent giant trampoline.

Everyone having FUN!

Tina piggybacks Remy back to the road where our car is parked.

Boy, Tina is strong...

Give Tina a hug, Remy.

Bye, Remy!

We definitely want to be able to send Remy here for a day camp.  The donation amount if $120 for a Sunday Exploration.  We really quite like this place for several reasons:  it's out with nature and animals, loving and passionate volunteers, and we would also get a break for about 5 hours!  While at Nova's Ark, Remy would be paired with at least one volunteer who will follow him wherever he'd like to go:  see and pet the animals, play in the playground (trampoline, slide, apparatus outside), fine motor or gross motor activities, the swimming pool... The bonus is that Remy already loves Tina since she comes in to play with him in his Play Room at home twice a week.  Now, if we can send him, he will have exposure to so many more friends who want to get to know Remy as he is.  What an awesome concept!

Thank you, Mary-Ann, Tina and all the wonderful volunteers who spent time with us this past Sunday :)  We hope to see you again soon!

Have a an awesome day!