Alex all "fired" up after Son-Rise Start-Up

Here's a clip of Alex full and overflowing of the 3 Es (energy, excitement and enthusiasm) with Remy on Sunday... just 3 days after he arrived back safely from attending the Son-Rise Start-Up Program.



What will we do next? I feel that the program is going up to a new level as Remy's eye contact and attention span increase!

Love and peace,

Fund Raising Summary

Dear Friends,

Thank you for supporting us through our Son-Rise Journey.  Since our request for help for attending New Frontiers and Start-Up this Fall, many of your have responded with kind wishes and financial contributions.  I wanted to share with you how the funds added up.

$100.00	Extended family
$50.00	Former co-worker Friend
$100.00	Childhood Friend
$100.00	University Friend
$100.00	University friend
$200.00	Another family from Remy's Sister's school
$100.00	Alex's friend
$100.00	Extended family member
$200.00	Parent
$20.00	Retail store Worker
$25.00	Another parent from Remy's Sister's school
$75.00	Close friends
$1,170.00	Total

I wish to point out that that these were just individual gifts.  Nancy and fund raising team have also been knitting kitchen towels, salvaging materials from old clothes to making unique purses, selling things at garage sales... Thank you all for all that you're doing for Remy's Room!  In addition to the financial help, we also truly and deeply appreciate the time that family members have taken to come help us watch the children.  We're all part of a team... actually, one New Frontier mate put the perfectly:  The Remy Recovery Team :)

No matter how small the amount or a thought you think you have to contribute, it all adds up!  It's the collective spirit that is made up of little pieces.  Thank you for putting forth your contribution.

Love, Peace and Prosperity,

10 Things I Learn at New Frontiers

Hello Friends!

Its been a while now since my last blog entry.  I hope that this post finds you all very well.

I wish to thank you all again for your support in bringing me to New Frontiers two weeks ago.  Your wishes, your financial contributions all helped support this learning experience.  The parents and volunteers I met at the November 2011 New Frontiers Program are now extended family... they are awesome loving, inspiring individuals who live spread out around the globe.  Now thanks to Facebook and the Internet, we are all still connected easily comfortably, supporting one another in our daily journeys.

There is much that I learned during my trip to, at and from the Option Institute this Fall, but I just want to highlight the 10 most significant to share with you.  I hope that you will also find these summarised points help to you in your life.

Top Ten Things I Learned during 2011 New Frontiers Program at Autism Treatment Center of America:

1.  Your world is the extension of your child's Play Room.  So, the more love you practice outside of the Play room, the more love you give in the Play Room.  How you love others (for example, the cashier or waitress) is a reflection of how you love your child.  Give love everywhere... and for certain, love is in the Play Room.

2.  You must face your discomforts straight on.  It is in dealing with your discomforts that you are able to grow.  Notice what your discomforts are and face them.

3.  How others judge me does not bother me unless somewhere within myself I also hold some of the same judgment.

4.  I am not in control of what happens to me or what others do - I am in control of how I respond.  It is my choice to be happy or unhappy - both are okay.

5.  Loving someone is allowing that person to deal with their own discomfort.  For example, not hugging someone could be more loving than hugging him/her.

6.  This relates to the above teaching.  My happiness and comfort is not dependent upon outside forces (like receiving hugs back).  I create my own happiness.  It's a choice.

7.  This teaching was learned in the car on my way to Option Institute listening to Rhonda Byrn's The Power. Give love and gratitude to the things you want, and turn away from things you don't want.

8.  Be specific with what you want.  For example, instead of "more eye contact", you could want "30 looks per minute."

9.  Nothing is taboo in the Play Room... and the world is an extension of the Play Room... discuss and accept everything!

10.  Be radically authentic and fearless!

I am grateful for this opportunity to share some of the things I learned, and I am grateful that I am able to do this while a volunteer is happily ripping in the Play Room with Remy.

Make yourself an awesome day!

 

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT REMY

Recently in the last week, I started contributing comments to Tera Warner's Blog, the topic being "Ten Things I Love About Myself."  Well, today I just complete Day 8 listing ten things I love about myself, and I'm planning to do it for the next 19 days (30 days in total).

Tera has just launched the world's healthiest weight loss system called BE (Body Enlightenment).  In any case, Tera decided that she wanted to make the program available to those who couldn't afford to dish out the $300 for the program... so, she came up with this little Love Yourself game in which you list 10 things you love about yourself.  Doing the 1 list would give you $10 credit toward the BE program, 2 lists $20, etc.

Anyway, I've found the exercise/game very beneficial for my mind and thought focus, so I wanted to start some lists of what I love about Remy.  In response to my lists, please feel free to post what you love about your children or Remy ;)

Let me start the list off...

TEN THINGS I LOVE ABOUT REMY:
1.  He is big, tall and strong :)
2.  He has the most tender voice when he says "Mama".
3.  He has the sweetest smile :)
4.  He rarely loses his balance, but when he falls, he gets up right away (in general).
5.  He challenges me to grow.
6.  He turns off the lights when he's leaving a room.
7.  He eats a range of fruits and veggies.
8.  He rides his little sister's trike after his sister on his bike ;)
9.  He sleeps well through the night (when he finally falls asleep).
10.  He looks like a big innocent baby when sleep in bed.

Enjoy your day!

Enjoying the Fall

Hello, Friends!

I'm counting down the sleeps until I leave for a much needed "break" back to the Autism Treatment Center of America.  A few days ago, I received an email from another New Frontiers participant in a group message.  He was reaching out to everyone so that we may have a head-start in getting to know each during for our one week course.

When I receive notes and messages from other Son-Rise parents, I am filled with hope and inspiration.  I'm not alone on this journey, and I'm not the only one who believes in my child the way that I do.  I do have many many questions - sometimes I just need some true quietness and stillness for the answer to present itself.

Thank you, friends, for all your well wishes and for your financial contributions that have made this training course so much closer.  I'm grateful, and I send best wishes to all of you!

Happy Autumn to you all!
Here are a few pictures we took recently at Long Sault Conservation.

Fund Raising Update for New Frontiers and Start-Up

Dear Friends and Family,

Thank you for your thoughts and time to read my posts about our fund raising!

I'd also like to extend our gratitude to our friends and family who have been able to generously donate to our cause.  To date, we have been gifted $450!  Thank you.  No amount is too small.  Every thing adds up.

Let me please remind you, that your thoughts and prayers mean a lot even if you aren't able to donate.  They are the vibrations that help lead us to our goal.

We are looking to cover New Frontiers ($2500), Start-Up ($2200) and Travel (est. $1000) - all USD
We are grateful for the funds that have already arrived:  $1700 (from Autism Treatment Center Scholarship), $350 (referral discount), $450 from loving friends and family since the start of this current Fund Raising campaign, and $355 from previous fund raising (a raffle at Nana Nancy's birthday party, two yard sales, optional donations for plants and my mom's delicious eggrolls).  There remains a balance of $2845, but there is still time!

Thank you all again for your involvement!  Blissful blessings for a brilliant day,

Be Happy, Accept, Celebrate and have FUN!

We had our first consultation with Gerd, our Son-Rise Teacher, via Skype on Labour Day (one and half weeks ago).  It has help tremendously with all volunteers and myself in the Play Room.

Here's a clip of Tara happily playing with Remy.  He started off very attached to his fish, but by the 3rd part of the session, Remy totally joined in with an activity Tara made up using his motivation:  the fish.  She called it "Sort and Mix-up" - absolutely fabulous!

So great to see all our beloved volunteers again this past week.



Enjoy and cease your day!

Letter: Fund raising for Start-Up and New Frontiers

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

You may or may not have learned that our son, Remy, has been diagnosed with autism since age 3. Now at 5 years old, he is still mostly nonverbal, still needs to be toilet trained and has difficulties interacting and communicating with others. Remy also lives with multiple sensory issues that lead him to exhibit “odd” obsessive compulsive repetitious behaviours such as ripping. To date, we have tried ABA, Speech therapy, Occupational therapy, BioMedical Intervention (supplements and special diets), as well as allergy treatments.

Last Fall we decided to give the Son-Rise Program® a chance. The Son-Rise Program® was founded upon unconditional love and acceptance was started by two loving parents Barry Neil Kaufman and Samahria Lyte Kaufman to reach their autistic son in his world. www.autismtreatmentcenter.org for more details, or visit www.remysroom.org for more information about us.

Alex and I plan to travel to the Autism Treatment Center of America this Fall (Alex in December and Kim in November) for more training that will help us work more effectively with Remy to help him through his autism.

In order for us to attend these training sessions, we must come up with $4700 USD ($2200 Start-Up Program for Alex, and $2500 New Frontiers for Kim) plus travel costs. Of course, we will personally carry as much of this as we can, but with a single income, many debts to repay and child care expenses, we need some help. Therefore, we are asking family and friends who can do so, to consider helping us with the expenses associated with these trainings.

Kim's New Frontiers Program starts November 13^th, 2011 and Alex's Start-Up Program commences December 4^th, 2011. Typically programs are paid for one month to two weeks prior to program start dates, so your rapid response will really help.

It is not our intention to place you in an awkward position, and we assure you that we fully understand and respect the fact that you may not be able to help financially at this time. However, if you can, we greatly appreciate it!

Whether or not you can make an optional donation at this time, would you please consider forwarding this letter to as many friends, colleagues, family members and contacts who would appreciate this opportunity to help our beautiful Remy?

Please drop us a line! We would love to hear from you regardless if you can donate.

Thank you for taking the time to read our note. We truly appreciate your thoughts, prayers and support.

With sincere gratitude,

Alex and Kim

(Remy's parents)

http://remysroom.org

thelaurinfamily @ gmail.com

905 493 2089

(please email or call us for our mailing address should you need it)

WAYS TO HELP

1. Make a straight donation via PayPal (transation fee of 2.9% + $0.30 will be deducted from your donation), cash or cheque. Please go to http://remysroom.org, and you'll find the Donate Button on the Right Hand Side.
2. Take the Spare Change Challenge: FUNd Raiser for Remy's Room.
3. Tell others about our cause by sharing this letter via email, Facebook (on your profile, and even better if you could send direct messages) and other social networks.

Blessings and good cheer. Thank you!

Could You Spare a Few Coffees for Remy?

Dear Family and Friends,

As you know, Alex and I are planning to attend training sessions in Massachusetts this Fall (Alex in December and Kim in November) so that we can more effectively build upon on Remy's current Son-Rise Program.

This blog post is about our SPARE CHANGE CHALLENGE FUNd Raiser!  :)

SPARE CHANGE CHALLENGE:

FUNd raisig for Remy's Room

Want to feel good about giving without spending any extra money?  

If you drink coffee/tea or buy a bag of chips/candy bar regularly, would you consider donating that money toward more training for Remy's Room?  

Gather a group of friends together who want to consume less coffee, chips, sweets or other less-than- healthy snacks to take this FUNd raising challenge!  You'll feel GREAT about giving, and you'll feel excellent that you were able to do it by just consuming less coffee or less-than-healthy snacks.  Best of all, you make this a FUN challenge between friends, colleagues and family.  You'll have each other as support.  Remember to have a great time with this!

Here's How The Challenge Works:

1.  Get a group of people together to join you (this is optional, but SO much more fun!)

2.  Decide what you would like to donate (i.e. the equivalent amount of a cup of coffee a day for a week).

3.  Decide when you want to start and end your challenge.

4.  Everyone fills out their own pledge.  Here are a few examples:

"I, Coffee Drinker, pledge to donate the dollar equivalent of 5 Starbucks Coffees to Remy's Room."

"I, Chip Eater, pledge to donate the dollar equivalent of 5 bags of Ruffles to Remy's Room."

"I, Candy Gobbler, pledge to donate the dollar equivalent of 5 Mars Bars to Remy's Room."

The above are just some examples.  You choose what (and how many) you want to give up and for how long.  

5.  Have a jar/box for the money.  When it comes time for the usual coffee at 2PM, for example, just put the money for the coffee in the Challenge jar instead.  

6.  Talk to you friends about how you feel. Are you happy? Are you still thinking about the coffee? Are you experiencing detox? Think positively about what you're doing! Hug each other, laugh and share.
7. Drink some water or eat a fresh apple (celery or cucumbers) to replace the coffee or snack.
8. At the end of the Challenge, you're ready to make your group optional donation!  There are three options: (i) the jar as is with all the change inside, (ii) write a cheque, or (iii) donate via PayPal (major credit cards accepted). To donate through PayPal, you can find the Donate Button at http://remysroom.org.  
   
   
   Just let me know you want to do this, and I'll email you Pledge Sheet since I don't know how to attach that yet to blog posts.

Kim's New Frontiers Program starts November 13^th, 2011 and Alex's Start-Up Program commences December 4^th, 2011. Typically programs are paid for one month to two weeks prior to program start dates, so your rapid response will really help.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!  I look forward to hearing from you really soon.

Wishes for a beautiful day,

Ripping Ism: Free House Plants

DH and I recently took the kids on "vacation" to visit family.  How naive to think that I was going to get some quiet time to file my nails and write a postcard to a friend.

During our "vacation", Remy's ripping ism escalated.  He became very protective about his obsessive compulsive behaviour to the point of ripping public and private plants within reach.  He was physically restrained by adults to stop this behaviour only to be answered with a loud whine or cry of unhappiness.

Somehow got a hold of "hidden" toilet paper

Since we've returned home in the last few days, we've also tried to put away all papers, paper bags (anything he could rip) out of sight.  Of course this is rather difficult as the little guy is very intelligent.  He ripped out the sticker part of some magnets so that he could rip them.  He also found business cards, brochures that we had on the fridges, photos and of course plants to rip.

Now, we really love our plants.  They're like pets to up, part of the family.  So, what do you do when your son compulsively climbs up the kitchen counter to rip leaves of the vine of a hanging plant?  Well, DH said that he was ready to let go.  Some of the plants we had had for years, some I propagated from seed (which took several months).  "Kim, just take them outside."  He was right.  At least if our plants were no longer in our house, they wouldn't be threatened with sudden shred.

Dressing up our beautiful plants

This gave me an idea.  I took Little Sister downstairs to make a donation box, and I put some string on some Remy's Room cards.  This was an opportunity to spread awareness about our Son-Rise Program to help our son.  DH said that we should just give away the plants, and I didn't argue with that.  My purpose of the donation box was to give people the chance to help if they wished.  In my experience, people really want to help others, so I wanted to make it possible.
 I spoke to the plants, thanked them for being with us for so long and blessed them.  It was now their turn to attract their new owners who would care for them and enjoy them.  Three of these plants were avocado trees that I had propagated from pits of organic avocados, which took months to sprout.

It was a relief to see these plants be picked up by caring passersby (whom I had never met before).  It was a similar feeling when we had to give away our cats because Remy was too rough with them; we just wanted our plants to go to a loving place where they would be safe and taken care of.

Awaiting new homes

I just went upstairs to collect the remaining plants since it's dark now, but DH had already done so.  The remaining plants are on the curb still awaiting their new owners to pick them up.  But DH decided to take the donation box back in.  To our delight (and surprise), there was $17.09 of OPTIONAL donations.  I feel great gratitude and reassurance in my heart that people are loving and want to help.

Thank you for your Optional Donations!

Tomorrow, as it is the day after Labour Day, is a new day - the start of a new routine for our Son-Rise Program®.  Thank you all for your support.  May you enjoy this beautiful day!

Remy Dances in Quebec City

We had a LONG road trip all the way up to beautiful Quebec City. It rained a lot, but Remy had some fun dancing.

Son-Rise Volunteer Momentum

Training is going GGGGREAT!

Our young and vibrant volunteers are awesome. We had another training session today, and the volunteers who attended noticed themselves having a much easier time being with Remy in the room compared to last week.

Last week was the first time volunteers went into the Room with Remy. To ease them into their new role as facilitators, I first let them observe me through our one way mirror playing with the little guy. After a few minutes, I transitioned Remy to the first visitor, Tara. After Tara, it was Maryam and then Khang. It was a relay.

It was a high energy, exhausting and invigorating for the girls. Thank goodness for a strong positive attitude. They ran around, carried Remy, spun him (he's about 70 pounds now), rocked him, piggybacked him... they were in each about 4 minutes at a time. It was probably the most strenuous 4 minutes they had faced in their whole week. Congratulations, might volunteers! We won the relay!

They all came out breathing heavily, sweating, smiling with messy hair. When we sat down to chat about their experience in the Play Room, Tara exclaimed that she would come the next time in her work out clothes.

Today was a more laid-back day. Maybe it was due to Remy losing his first tooth sometime yesterday evening (he still has one more wiggly tooth). Maybe it was because Remy had already initiated them into his Room. Whatever it was, the volunteers felt much more "centred", as one of them put it, rather than scattered. I assured them that it's going to be a lot of learning for all of us, Kim included.

We're moving along now. Let us use this momentum to build strength and move forward.

With Energy, Excitement and Enthusiam,

Kim

Letter to Remy August 10, 2011

Dear Remy,

We're already into August, Buddy, and we're looking forward to starting our new SRP year with our wonderful new volunteers!  You charmed them with your special presence, and you made them sweat last week, so now they're coming back for more :)

Let's see what's been happening since my last letter in December 2010.  Well, let's start from what's going one now.  Let me tell you about the things you really like doing:  ripping, pouring, stripping bed sheets and wrapping them around you, flicking stick like objects, eating a lot (you've always like to eat a lot just like your parents), squeezing people and getting squeezed, and wagon rides.  Of course there are more, but these are most prominent.

Oh, I must also mention that I just noticed your wiggly front teeth yesterday, and today one of them already looks like it's going to fall off.  I asked your dad where the tooth would end up.  He hypothesized that you would either eat it or bring it to me... he later also added that you  might flush it down the toilet.  I hope you end up giving me the tooth.

Your eye contact is amazing!  You simply have to just look at me with your beautiful bright truthful brown eyes, and whatever ounce of annoyance I might have been feeling from cleaning up your rippings or your pourings or your peeings, just vanish.  Your eyes have already dazzled the wonderful young volunteers.

We know that you want to connect with us.  Mommy knows that you are trying your best to be part of our world.  You practice talking, which may be mistaken for babbling and making weird noises, but Mommy believes in you.  Keep trying, Buddy.  You're doing a great job!  Just a couple of days ago, I was scrubbing the bathtub when you came into the bathroom, looked me in the eyes, grabbed my hand and said "hal" - I think you were asking for "help".  It was an ah-ha moment.  I understood the sound that you spontaneously made to make me aware of your need.  Thank you for expressing yourself, Buddy.

I know that you know what I talk about.  It's absolutely incredible how much you understand.  In the Spring when it was finally warm enough to go for wagon rides, you would hop into the wagon almost ALL the time even though we would be out for over an hour.  It was very challenging to get you to go back into the house or into the car.  I would use my physical strength against your will to carrying you out of the wagon.  Well, you've since gained about 10 pounds (this seems like a lot - your dad and I have been discussing what we're going to do about it) so really it's to no benefit for my back to carry you against your will.

On several occasions now I've asked you to look in my eyes while I explained, "we have to go inside now, Remy.  We'll come back AFTER.  Mommy needs to go pee.  Let's go inside, Remy."  And even if you don't look at me, you do get up out of the red wagon.  When this happened the first time about a couple of months ago, I was amazed and very grateful.  Remy, you understand me.  Thank you.

There have been many other occasions and examples of how you understand English (or Chinese).  Sometimes I would say phrases to you that I have not said before or in a different context.  For example, one day upon leaving the house, I asked you to grab "the bag".  You stopped, turned around, looked for a bag, found a black bag hanging on the easel, took it down and handed it to me.  I celebrated!  I love these moments.

You get along really well with your sister.  I must say that out of everyone in this house, although we all practice being nonjudgmental, Sister is truly nonjudgmental and can thoroughly communicate with you.  She forgives you for hitting and squeezing her too hard, eating her food and ripping her crafts.  She sometimes blames you for things you have not done - what are siblings for?  Your relationship warms my heart.

Things I am grateful that you do:

• go to the toilet by yourself
• pee whenever you need to but hold it in most of the time
• seek people's attention
• lead people by the hand
• eat independently
• walk and run healthfully
• wash your hands when I ask you to
• give hugs
• smile and laugh causing others to smile and laugh too
• eat fermented vegetables as well as raw vegetables
• show your own will
• understand me
• try and try
• take care of yourself (problem solving such as going into the freezer to get ice)
• take a shower when dirty
• signal that you need to do number two and then just do it behind closed doors

I am grateful for you and all that you teach me, remind me of every day.  You and your sister are the sincere truth of life.

Every day is an adventure with you and your sister.  I have felt best about being me in the last two years.  When people ask me if you go to school, I tell them that you go to school with me in your special home play room.  The truth is, you are my teacher, and I have learned more from you than I have ever have in school.

Remy, you have grown so much!  I remember giving birth to a baby of average weight and size.  In two months time you ballooned into a huge baby, and since then have only grown taller, bigger and heavier.  Not only have you grown physically, you are more intelligent every day.  You are bright, loving and sincere.  Even in my imperfection (sometimes I'm rushed to get out the door when we're late taking Sister to school), you show mostly patience and sometimes whiny frustration.

Thank you for your kindness, your sincerity, your genuinely love of life unconditionally.  The stars of wisdom shine on me from your honest eyes.  Our sit-down eye-to-eye lunches the last 3 or 4 weeks have been intimate and full of connection without talking.  You are the moving stillness that I wish to hug.  Thank you for your patience with Mommy, Remy.  Sometimes I get all tangled into stress preparing supper, doing laundry, sweeping up your rippings, cleaning up your spills, helping Sister... all at the same time.  Multitasking is not very effective, Buddy, but it's seems to be inevitable for mothers.  All I can do is prioritize tasks, and trust that you turn out fine despite the after school-before-supper time.

Thank you for being you, for showing me The Present.  Keep growing, as I shall also grow with you.
-Mama

Ripping Ism

As you've seen in my recent posts, ripping has been taking place in our lives.  First, it seemed that we had found a new way to occupy and calm the Remy boy by giving him lots of paper to shred.  Now, it's become a little out of control...

It's reached the point where I would run to the area where I hear him babble and rip something.  "Did I put the receipts away?"  I would ask myself.  I'd run to the ripping sound and let out a sigh of relief as I see him ripping scrap paper or napkins (I don't know how or where he finds these as we use reusable cloth).

Ripping is not confined to the Playroom.  Remy will rip anything!  So far, the most interesting this is paper as it is plentiful, but he enjoys experimenting with different textures, colours and sizes.  Aside from standard paper, he will also rip leaves from plants (house plants, tree leaves, raspberry leaves, etc.), pages from books, envelops, paper bags, tissues, bathroom tissue, receipts, his sister's crafts, calendars, notes, cardboard boxes - just name it!

So, what's the problem?  He's happy and content ripping away.  Well, it's just a little tricky and sometimes a little frustrating keeping up with all the shreds on tables, chairs and on the floor.  Aside from our time invested in cleaning up our home environment, it also costs money to replace books and toilet paper so frequently.

DH asked me, "how do we make him stop ripping?"  My reply was that we simply couldn't make anyone do anything.  All we can do is to set up an environment that is less conducive to ripping.  It's not Remy's fault that he rips.  I believe that, and this believe is supported by OTs we have seen, his ripping serves a purpose in helping him develop dexterity in his fingers.  He's learning whatever needs - to us this just might seem like a long time as we keep having to sweep up his paper trails.

Could this ism be serving any other purpose?  It keeps him focused.  DH asked if this ism has just become a force of habit.  It definitely could be that way.  He's just used to doing it.

For now, the only resolution we have come up with is keep all important documents stowed safely away, try to place rippables (I just coined that word) out of sight and reach while believing my child is doing the best that he can - and also to just spend time with him instead of cleaning up while he's ripping - although, he helps too.

Nice Ripped up flowers - it's kind of artsy.

Please leave me your comments.  Thanks for coming by!  Enjoy your day,

Ripping in the Play Room