I asked myself this question in my previous post: how do I effectively teach Remy to communicate without biting? In order for me to answer this question, I had to pose some other questions. These questions are in no particular order (they just came to me in this way).
1. When does Remy bite?
He bites when I don't give him what he wants immediately like rice when it's still cooking (frustration, impatience). He bites when he's giggling and his teeth are near my face, hands, legs and feet (having fun - probably sensory rooted). He bites when I'm busy doing something (getting attention).
2. Why is Remy biting me and not others?
DH says that Remy holds back from biting (or grabbing or scratching) him although Remy is quite frustrated. Yet with his Remy frustration, Remy could just come to me and attack me. Well, this is something I could celebrate. I believe that he's most comfortable with his mother that he can express himself without holding back. I am grateful that my son can show his feelings to me. Now on the down side of this, bites hurt.
3. What can I celebrate about his biting?
I can celebrate that he is expressing himself, protecting his space and not being passive and indifferent to his environment.
4. Why does Remy bite?
It could be sensory based. Even when he doesn't bite people, he bites, mouths and chews things (this is a topic for another post), so it might be a feeling that he gets that he wants. It's expressing frustration, impatience and excitement (my opinion). He may also bite out of fear.
5. What other things can I allow Remy to bite?
I've bought him bite toys, but he seems to like things that are not designated for non toxic biting. But, I could consistently give him certain bite toys when he bites me. He is also allowed to bite clothing, food and toys.
6. What strategies have others suggested? How do I feel about them?
One consultant suggested to give him a bite toy and always direct his biting to it. He said to make sure that the toys are sterilized (but I'm not sure this is all that easy or important - my face isn't sterile). Another suggestion was to get really mad, yell and tell him not to bite. This idea doesn't align with my beliefs. Another suggestion is to make no reaction (opposite of blowing up on the kid), but tell him and believe that he understands.
7. What have I done in the past that have worked for Remy to bite less?
I've created space, less opportunity for him to get spatially bite me. So this means to pick him up less and have less physical contact. This is a little challenging as he really seeks deep pressure, and loves squeezes and hugs. I've also anticipated bites and told him no, and remove my hand or foot away from his mouth.
8. What action plan will I apply to help Remy communicate without biting?
I must maintain an attitude that my child is doing the best that he can. I am grateful that he is most comfortable with me to express his feelings (even through biting). I must keep us safe. If he has already gotten a bite of me, I should fold gently into (not away since this might result in ripping) the bite, and react dully. If he is frustrated or impatient, I should direct his attention to a drawing board, a book or another activity that will help him wait. If he is really worked up, I might have to send him to another room or go to another room myself. If he is biting out of fun, I shall give direct him to bite something else and perhaps massaging his jaw for some oral stimulation.
As I learn more from my observations, I will update my strategies.
Please share with me your comments or suggestions.
Have a magnificent rest of the weekend!
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