Remy's in School!

How shall I start?  Where do I begin?

As many of you know, this Summer was packed full of different situations and events resulting in a lot of soul searching. 

Remy's sister  was at home all Summer creating very little space and little quietness which allowed for stress to build and build.  Our volunteers for Remy's Room were called elsewhere, so Remy's program was slow at home.

With the baby requiring me all the time, Alex was pretty much the person taking care of the older children.  This caused burn-out.

How would be get back our energy and a routine that worked for us?

THANK YOU, PUBLIC SCHOOL!  We love Canada!

One day, Alex and I came to an agreement to see if he could attend school, the public school.  Don't things always happen in ways that you would not have imagined?

We called our Resource person to come help us start the paperwork to see what school situation we could get Remy into for this year, even though the school year had already begun.  Not even two weeks later, I received a phone call from the Special Education Resource Teacher from our local school.  Within a week, we made an appointment for her and the Area Facilitator to come to our home to meet with Remy.

The meeting started off formal, conservative, until the moment the Area Facilitator announced that we basically could have the spot if we wanted!  We asked for a small classroom setting.  So they explained that there is one small class setting, and it happened to be in the same town where we lived... in fact, close to where we live.  Typically there would be a wait list to get into such a classroom, but another child had been withdrawn from the program (because they finally got their spot for IBI funding) just before our application was received.  Coincidence?  Cosmically beautiful.

We went to visit the school the following week, and Remy started the next day for an hour.  We would transition him slowly adding an hour per week, but just last week (when he started to take the bus), we could not pick him up with our vehicle, so it worked out that he could start full time starting last week!

We have SO much to be grateful for, let me attempt to count the endless blessings:

1. We got Remy into a very special small classroom setting where there are four TEACCH trained adults to 6 children on the Spectrum.
2. The staff at the school are fabulous to work with!  We are working TOGETHER to help Remy transition successfully to full time public school.  For example, they put in provisions for when the class is doing something with gluten or other substances that we help Remy to avoid.  They monitor him closely to make sure he stays within his special diet. 
3. The bus routine is very enjoyable and reliable for Remy (and us).  The bus driver and his monitor are very excited and enthusiastic when picking him up and dropping him off.
4. With the bus picking him up and dropping him off, I have more time to take care of other things that have been left behind... it's also a lot more peaceful, and the peace helps me be centred for the hectic times.
5. Remy gets to interact with his peers, and when he comes home, he plays with his sister.

So far, we are thrilled that he's going to school, a place we feel is safe and provides him with different stimuli that we wouldn't be able to provide at home.  Many other things are also happening, so Remy has been extra hyperactive at home recently, but I believe with some detective work and some persistent love, he'll settle down.

Looking forward to his first full week of school (last week ended with a PA Day).  Thank you very much for reading!

Enjoy wherever you are,

Fund Raising Summary

Dear Friends,

Thank you for supporting us through our Son-Rise Journey.  Since our request for help for attending New Frontiers and Start-Up this Fall, many of your have responded with kind wishes and financial contributions.  I wanted to share with you how the funds added up.

$100.00	Extended family
$50.00	Former co-worker Friend
$100.00	Childhood Friend
$100.00	University Friend
$100.00	University friend
$200.00	Another family from Remy's Sister's school
$100.00	Alex's friend
$100.00	Extended family member
$200.00	Parent
$20.00	Retail store Worker
$25.00	Another parent from Remy's Sister's school
$75.00	Close friends
$1,170.00	Total

I wish to point out that that these were just individual gifts.  Nancy and fund raising team have also been knitting kitchen towels, salvaging materials from old clothes to making unique purses, selling things at garage sales... Thank you all for all that you're doing for Remy's Room!  In addition to the financial help, we also truly and deeply appreciate the time that family members have taken to come help us watch the children.  We're all part of a team... actually, one New Frontier mate put the perfectly:  The Remy Recovery Team :)

No matter how small the amount or a thought you think you have to contribute, it all adds up!  It's the collective spirit that is made up of little pieces.  Thank you for putting forth your contribution.

Love, Peace and Prosperity,

Letter to Remy August 10, 2011

Dear Remy,

We're already into August, Buddy, and we're looking forward to starting our new SRP year with our wonderful new volunteers!  You charmed them with your special presence, and you made them sweat last week, so now they're coming back for more :)

Let's see what's been happening since my last letter in December 2010.  Well, let's start from what's going one now.  Let me tell you about the things you really like doing:  ripping, pouring, stripping bed sheets and wrapping them around you, flicking stick like objects, eating a lot (you've always like to eat a lot just like your parents), squeezing people and getting squeezed, and wagon rides.  Of course there are more, but these are most prominent.

Oh, I must also mention that I just noticed your wiggly front teeth yesterday, and today one of them already looks like it's going to fall off.  I asked your dad where the tooth would end up.  He hypothesized that you would either eat it or bring it to me... he later also added that you  might flush it down the toilet.  I hope you end up giving me the tooth.

Your eye contact is amazing!  You simply have to just look at me with your beautiful bright truthful brown eyes, and whatever ounce of annoyance I might have been feeling from cleaning up your rippings or your pourings or your peeings, just vanish.  Your eyes have already dazzled the wonderful young volunteers.

We know that you want to connect with us.  Mommy knows that you are trying your best to be part of our world.  You practice talking, which may be mistaken for babbling and making weird noises, but Mommy believes in you.  Keep trying, Buddy.  You're doing a great job!  Just a couple of days ago, I was scrubbing the bathtub when you came into the bathroom, looked me in the eyes, grabbed my hand and said "hal" - I think you were asking for "help".  It was an ah-ha moment.  I understood the sound that you spontaneously made to make me aware of your need.  Thank you for expressing yourself, Buddy.

I know that you know what I talk about.  It's absolutely incredible how much you understand.  In the Spring when it was finally warm enough to go for wagon rides, you would hop into the wagon almost ALL the time even though we would be out for over an hour.  It was very challenging to get you to go back into the house or into the car.  I would use my physical strength against your will to carrying you out of the wagon.  Well, you've since gained about 10 pounds (this seems like a lot - your dad and I have been discussing what we're going to do about it) so really it's to no benefit for my back to carry you against your will.

On several occasions now I've asked you to look in my eyes while I explained, "we have to go inside now, Remy.  We'll come back AFTER.  Mommy needs to go pee.  Let's go inside, Remy."  And even if you don't look at me, you do get up out of the red wagon.  When this happened the first time about a couple of months ago, I was amazed and very grateful.  Remy, you understand me.  Thank you.

There have been many other occasions and examples of how you understand English (or Chinese).  Sometimes I would say phrases to you that I have not said before or in a different context.  For example, one day upon leaving the house, I asked you to grab "the bag".  You stopped, turned around, looked for a bag, found a black bag hanging on the easel, took it down and handed it to me.  I celebrated!  I love these moments.

You get along really well with your sister.  I must say that out of everyone in this house, although we all practice being nonjudgmental, Sister is truly nonjudgmental and can thoroughly communicate with you.  She forgives you for hitting and squeezing her too hard, eating her food and ripping her crafts.  She sometimes blames you for things you have not done - what are siblings for?  Your relationship warms my heart.

Things I am grateful that you do:

• go to the toilet by yourself
• pee whenever you need to but hold it in most of the time
• seek people's attention
• lead people by the hand
• eat independently
• walk and run healthfully
• wash your hands when I ask you to
• give hugs
• smile and laugh causing others to smile and laugh too
• eat fermented vegetables as well as raw vegetables
• show your own will
• understand me
• try and try
• take care of yourself (problem solving such as going into the freezer to get ice)
• take a shower when dirty
• signal that you need to do number two and then just do it behind closed doors

I am grateful for you and all that you teach me, remind me of every day.  You and your sister are the sincere truth of life.

Every day is an adventure with you and your sister.  I have felt best about being me in the last two years.  When people ask me if you go to school, I tell them that you go to school with me in your special home play room.  The truth is, you are my teacher, and I have learned more from you than I have ever have in school.

Remy, you have grown so much!  I remember giving birth to a baby of average weight and size.  In two months time you ballooned into a huge baby, and since then have only grown taller, bigger and heavier.  Not only have you grown physically, you are more intelligent every day.  You are bright, loving and sincere.  Even in my imperfection (sometimes I'm rushed to get out the door when we're late taking Sister to school), you show mostly patience and sometimes whiny frustration.

Thank you for your kindness, your sincerity, your genuinely love of life unconditionally.  The stars of wisdom shine on me from your honest eyes.  Our sit-down eye-to-eye lunches the last 3 or 4 weeks have been intimate and full of connection without talking.  You are the moving stillness that I wish to hug.  Thank you for your patience with Mommy, Remy.  Sometimes I get all tangled into stress preparing supper, doing laundry, sweeping up your rippings, cleaning up your spills, helping Sister... all at the same time.  Multitasking is not very effective, Buddy, but it's seems to be inevitable for mothers.  All I can do is prioritize tasks, and trust that you turn out fine despite the after school-before-supper time.

Thank you for being you, for showing me The Present.  Keep growing, as I shall also grow with you.
-Mama

Thank YOU for helping find Awesome Volunteers for Remy's Room

The past two weeks have been a period of momentum building.

When Nana Nancy was here a couple of weeks ago, we talked about fund raising and recruiting volunteers.  Although we really do need to fund raise for the consultation and Son-Rise training and support, DH's main concern was getting all the volunteers that we needed.

At the Start-Up we learned that most successful Son-Rise Programs had excellent teams of volunteers.  The first step to achieving this outcome is to BELIEVE.  During our discussion between Nancy, DH and myself, DH asked me "when are you planning to have volunteers?"  it was a great question.  It reminded me that asking for WHAT you desire is not enough; you also need to add in WHEN.  Thank you, Marie Diamond, for reminding me of this.  So, I told Nancy and DH that within two weeks, volunteers should pour in.  "Okay," said DH, "you've got two weeks."  I was glad, because I knew that the Universe would deliver at a specific time, and that was what I was missing in my visualization of this realization.

So, the last two weeks have been filled with excitement.  I've been enthusiastically and excitedly talking to people every reasonable chance I get.  I've been sending out emails to organizations, strangers, sending out requests on Facebook for help in spreading our word.

The response has been fabulous!  YOU are wonderful, amazing, thoughtful, kind.  Thank YOU so much for telling your friends, family and colleagues about us.  Thank you for sharing our link on Facebook and whatever other ways you've done.

And of course I'm grateful for the potential volunteers who respond and show their interest.  Corresponding with you has been a pleasure, and I really look forward to meeting you soon.

Namaste,

Reminder of the Importance of Relief

DH left with our daughter Saturday morning and didn't return until supper time Sunday.  During this time, I was joyfully expecting my sister to come over to sleep over and play with Remy.  Unfortunately, she was not feeling well.  And because she wasn't able to make it, my mother asked if she had to still come.  Of course I didn't want to inconvenience anyone.  Besides, I'm the boy's mother, and he's ALWAYS with me (with exception of my  time being away in Sheffield).  So, suddenly it was just truly him and me with no relief.

These days, DH normally does to work in the morning, comes home for about a couple of hours at supper time then goes back to the office until bedtime (whenever that is).  Although, it seems to be just two hours, I am super busy at this time, cleaning and preparing the next day's meals, etc.

Saturday was interesting.  Although I've got latches and locks on most doors now, if there is an opportunity for Remy, he will cease it!  Many people might just say, "if you don't want him to do this, you should never leave him alone."  Well, yes... if this is humanly possible, it might work.  Distractions do come up like telephone calls (which most of the time I'm good to let go to voice mail if I just can't take the call), need to use the toilet or make the guy something to eat.  He is the most IMPATIENT person for waiting for food to be prepared before eating.  So much so that he bites and pinch-scratches me in the neck.  I am grateful that he is  expressing himself.  I am glad that he is showing his emotions, bringing them inside out.

I don't even recall most of what took place Saturday... I'm just catching up now.  It probably involved cleaning up urine, trying to dress him, going out for long wagon walks and laundry.  I just remember that by 11:00PM, Remy was finally a getting a little quiet lying down beside me in bed with his eyes looking droopy.  I was intensely tired, but needed to do a few things to prepare for the next day, so had to stay awake longer.  

Sunday, we managed to make some raw apple cinnamon bread.  And, we went out for more walks.  He just rides and requires me to pull him.  I was very grateful of the weather to allow us the pleasure of walking without snow.  But by mid morning, the seed of a headache had planted itself.  By the time DH came home with Remy's little sister, I just pulled out two frozen pizzas.  Thank goodness for Amy's No Cheese pizzas with 83% organic ingredients!  who am I kidding?  It was junk food, wasn't it?  Alas, it's not something I do all the time.  I was beat, and the family still had to eat (Remy didn't eat it because of the gluten and agave nectar).

What a wonderful unique experience!  I spent the whole weekend alone with my little guy without any relief, and this has led me to really appreciate the two hours a day that I get (actually, it's about 1 hour, if you don't count the eating and serving part) without having to tend to a child.  It's absolutely dizzying!  So, I know that in order to be optimal, I must have at least an hour to myself each day.

I hope that you find time for yourself too.  Enjoy your beautiful day!