As with most children with autism (and many children in general), there are sensory issues. One thing that Remy really enjoys is pouring liquids and watching them spill, disperse, splash, seep down the drain, etc. He also enjoys rubbing the liquid all over himself. If I had to add up all the things that he's spilled, eaten, poured, I would estimate that it's cost well over $100. I'll explain later. First, please let me tell you the story that led up to my one loud guttural scream this afternoon.
Like many mornings, we dropped Little Sister off at school then came home to water the garden in the backyard. After I finished watering, it was time to give Remy a shower because he was dirty. When he got into the shower, I specifically took the shampoo out of the shower area so that he wouldn't be able to pour it down the drain (like he has had with SO many things in the past). After his shower, I dried him off and let him air out au naturel while I prepared him lunch.
After lunch, Remy went to toilet for number two. And like usual, I let him have his privacy. Then it got a little too quiet. I opened the bathroom door only to find that he was covered in shampoo sitting on the toilet smearing the liquid on himself smiling. I made no big reaction like usual (although, I was quite disappointed that he had poured out the new bottle of shampoo that cost over $11 (unscented shampoo is expensive). So, how he needed his second shower of the day to get all the slimy shampoo off. While in the shower, I also cleaned the toilet, the floor, lavabo and tub... I remind myself that the cleaning had to be done anyway, so Remy just accelerated the cleaning.
Finally, we spent the rest of the afternoon in the Play Room (where we can keep him away from the rest of the house) until it was time to pick up this sister. Actually, we had three errands to run before we got her, one of which was to buy more shampoo.
We picked up Little Sister, and we all played in the backyard until I was done watering the garden. As always, the kids were full of dirt and sand, so a third shower was in store for Remy. By this time I had stowed away the shampoo in the linen closet up high, but I took it down since I needed it to wash the kids' hair. Little Sister put up such a fuss about washing her hair that I forgot that I had put the new shampoo in the bathroom. Now, you can imagine that it's supper time as well, and I'm multitasking to cook rice and prepare stir fry. As I just got into the kitchen to cut the broccoli, I heard the bathroom door shut. Quickly, I sprinted there, hurriedly opened the door only to find Remy pouring the new shampoo down the drain! AGHHHHHH! Yes, this is where I screamed for about 5 seconds. That's over $20 worth of shampoo down the drain in one day!
There have been many spills and pourings. Here's a few:
Above: This was a fiber powder I was going to give to my mom worth $17 or so.
Above and below: a fruit smoothie.
Below: Nicely drinking coconut water from the Young coconut... then he spilled it.
Above: No, it's not pee... worse
Below: it's expensive hemp seed oil cost over $10
Other things he's poured, gotten into or eaten in the past: water (we buy Reverse Osmosis water), bath gel, shampoo, hand soap, spices, oil, lotions, moisturizers, eggs, green smoothies, soup, laundry detergent (a whole bottle into my high efficiency washer), juice, seeds, paint, glue, mylk, petroleum jelly (this one was probably the most difficult to wash off him), soy sauce... I'm sure there are other things that I haven't included too.
As you can see, all this pouring gets very costly. However, I've come to think differently about this ism and about the things that Remy does. When he does pour something out, it's not his fault. I remind myself that he's doing the best that he can. I also have to remind myself that I also do the best that I can - and when I get distracted, and forget to protect the shampoo, it's no use to blame myself. These experiences are lessons that offer to teach me. Remy has been my most challenging yet most growth-inspiring teacher ever. I keep learning... and today, I learned that I still need to learn how to deal with my emotions, my frustration.
There is a metaphor that I first heard from Dr. Wayne Dyer. What do you get when you squeeze an orange? The answer is: orange juice. You always get orange juice. What is inside will come out when squeezed hard enough. And today, it was frustration for me.
Seeing that I know that pouring motivates him, how do I use this to help him learn in the Play Room? This is a much better question than questions like "why are you pouring all this money down the drain?" "How do I stop him from pouring things?" "Why can't he stop pouring stuff?" "Why won't he listen to me?" - all these questions lead to answers that aren't going to help. So, I ask, how does knowing this help me help him?
Thanks for listening to me vent. Make yourself a wonderful day,
I actually just did an internet search about autistic kids and pouring because my daughter does the same thing. She pours out shampoos, soaps and beauty products because she likes the smell and playing with the liquids. Then she rinses the bottles and fills them up with water and pours that, too! In fact her favorite thing to do is get several containers and transfer water or other liquids from container to container, just pouring away. I've had a good $50 worth of hair care products go down the drain this week alone. We are trying to figure out a way to stop it like stop sign stickers or something since she is high functioning. But i FELL YOUR PAIN!! And I totally understand the scream. I feel like I can't take my eyes off of her for one second or disaster will await. Hang in there and thanks for the post! I relate more than you can imagine!
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for leaving me your comment and letting me know that we're NOT alone! Please let me know if you find some solutions. So far, we just try our best (it's challenging with so many flash distractions) to keep liquids out of reach or in sight. But the little guy is very creative in finding what we think is out of sigh/reach. In all this, we can be grateful that our kids are practising their dexterity, eye-hand coordination while having fun :)
My autistic 5 year old does the same thing! It drives me crazy. She pours, sprays, and empties every liquid she can get her hands on. Now that shes getting bigger and more industrious its harder and harder to keep things at a safe level. Im thinking Im going to have to toss my firearms and bring the gun safe out of the basement forprotection of her and the liquids.
ReplyDeletemy 17 year old son still does this. thousands of dollars worth of products. I'm trying to find solutions.
ReplyDelete