What's So Special About Remy's Room?

A lot of people ask me if Remy goes to school. Then when I tell them he's got his own program at home, people ask me again if he goes to school. Here's a little overview of what's so great about this play room in our home for Remy. Click on the video below to watch.

What do you think? Is this room special? Leave me your comment. I love hearing from you.

Thank you for stopping by today. Have a wonderful day!

Pouring Ism

Yesterday at the health food store, the store manager commented on how calm and serene I was to have the blessing (Remy) that I had.  Ironically, I screamed this afternoon.  I actually screamed.  I didn't scream at anyone.  I just screamed to release pent-up frustration.  Looks like I still have a lot to learn ;)

As with most children with autism (and many children in general), there are sensory issues.  One thing that Remy really enjoys is pouring liquids and watching them spill, disperse, splash, seep down the drain, etc.  He also enjoys rubbing the liquid all over himself.  If I had to add up all the things that he's spilled, eaten, poured, I would estimate that it's cost well over $100.  I'll explain later.  First, please let me tell you the story that led up to my one loud guttural scream this afternoon.

Like many mornings, we dropped Little Sister off at school then came home to water the garden in the backyard.  After I finished watering, it was time to give Remy a shower because he was dirty.  When he got into the shower, I specifically took the shampoo out of the shower area so that he wouldn't be able to pour it down the drain (like he has had with SO many things in the past).  After his shower, I dried him off and let him air out au naturel while I prepared him lunch.

After lunch, Remy went to toilet for number two.  And like usual, I let him have his privacy.  Then it got a little too quiet.  I opened the bathroom door only to find that he was covered in shampoo sitting on the toilet smearing the liquid on himself smiling.  I made no big reaction like usual (although, I was quite disappointed that he had poured out the new bottle of shampoo that cost over $11 (unscented shampoo is expensive).  So, how he needed his second shower of the day to get all the slimy shampoo off.  While in the shower, I also cleaned the toilet, the floor, lavabo and tub... I remind myself that the cleaning had to be done anyway, so Remy just accelerated the cleaning.

Finally, we spent the rest of the afternoon in the Play Room (where we can keep him away from the rest of the house) until it was time to pick up this sister.  Actually, we had three errands to run before we got her, one of which was to buy more shampoo.

We picked up Little Sister, and we all played in the backyard until I was done watering the garden.  As always, the kids were full of dirt and sand, so a third shower was in store for Remy.  By this time I had stowed away the shampoo in the linen closet up high, but I took it down since I needed it to wash the kids' hair.  Little Sister put up such a fuss about washing her hair that I forgot that I had put the new shampoo in the bathroom.  Now, you can imagine that it's supper time as well, and I'm multitasking to cook rice and prepare stir fry.  As I just got into the kitchen to cut the broccoli, I heard the bathroom door shut.  Quickly, I sprinted there, hurriedly opened the door only to find Remy pouring the new shampoo down the drain!  AGHHHHHH!  Yes, this is where I screamed for about 5 seconds.  That's over $20 worth of shampoo down the drain in one day!

There have been many spills and pourings.  Here's a few:

Above:   This was a fiber powder I was going to give to my mom worth $17 or so.

 Above and below:  a fruit smoothie.

 Below: Nicely drinking coconut water from the Young coconut... then he spilled it.

 Above:  No, it's not pee... worse

Below:  it's expensive hemp seed oil cost over $10

 Other things he's poured, gotten into or eaten in the past:  water (we buy Reverse Osmosis water), bath gel, shampoo, hand soap, spices, oil, lotions, moisturizers, eggs, green smoothies, soup, laundry detergent (a whole bottle into my high efficiency washer), juice, seeds, paint, glue, mylk, petroleum jelly (this one was probably the most difficult to wash off him),  soy sauce... I'm sure there are other things that I haven't included too.

As you can see, all this pouring gets very costly.  However, I've come to think differently about this ism and about the things that Remy does.  When he does pour something out, it's not his fault.  I remind myself that he's doing the best that he can.  I also have to remind myself that I also do the best that I can - and when I get distracted, and forget to protect the shampoo, it's no use to blame myself.  These experiences are lessons that offer to teach me.  Remy has been my most challenging yet most growth-inspiring teacher ever.  I keep learning... and today, I learned that I still need to learn how to deal with my emotions, my frustration.

There is a metaphor that I first heard from Dr. Wayne Dyer.  What do you get when you squeeze an orange? The answer is:  orange juice.  You always get orange juice.  What is inside will come out when squeezed hard enough.  And today, it was frustration for me.

Seeing that I know that pouring motivates him, how do I use this to help him learn in the Play Room?  This is a much better question than questions like "why are you pouring all this money down the drain?"  "How do I stop him from pouring things?"  "Why can't he stop pouring stuff?"  "Why won't he listen to me?" - all these questions lead to answers that aren't going to help.  So, I ask, how does knowing this help me help him?

Thanks for listening to me vent.  Make yourself a wonderful day,

Back to Gluten Free and Casein Free Diet

A friend commented this past Christmas that he never knows what to expect from our family, that our diet change all the time.  Actually, it's us who change our diet all the time.  It's true.  Before we suspected the diagnosis of autism, our family was on a vegan diet (so, no milk products anyway), but after reading about how so many children benefited from cutting out gluten (a protein found in grains such as wheat, barley, spelt, kamut and others), we jumped right into a gluten-free/casein-free (GFCF) diet.

As the months progressed, after consulting with our Integrative Medicine doctor, we also put Remy on other diets such as the Low Phenol Diet (you can Google it for more information), a rotating diet and finally the dreaded Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) or GAPS diet.  Last year this time, Remy was on the SCD, thin and compliant (he was also still in ABA).  More recently, during the winter I was really hoping to put him on the Body Ecology Diet (thank you to my friend Milijana who lent me the book).

The question is WHY was he on so many different diets?  What was the purpose?  Well, the brief answer is this:  when one feels better inside, one can focus on things outside of the body.  So, parents who had switched their children over to a GFCF diet found amazing shifts in behaviour.  In a nutshell, the proteins gluten and casein are very difficult for many bodies to digest. Many families found a difference, so we tried.  Remy still didn't talk.  There wasn't noticeable difference... not really.  

Then last year when let go of the ABA therapist, we also let go of the SCD since Remy had started to refuse to eat the meat offered to him all the time.  He looked like he was starving.  Now not only did we let him off the SCD, we also let him off the GFCF.  You should have seen him when we offered him a slice of bread.  He looked at us for our "NO!" reaction.  We did this, and in the following weeks found that he became more hyper, so we decided to try GFCF again.  Weeks later, we found ourselves in a Japanese restaurant (we didn't plan this), and Remy wouldn't eat the rice without the soy sauce.  Of course, soy sauce usually contained wheat which contains gluten.  DH and I looked at each other; we would make an exception.  Remy also ate tempura that day - he was so happy, and we all had a wonderful lunch together for the first time in a long time outside of our home.

The next day, I was shopping with Remy, and I had placed a bag of focaccia buns in the cart.  I turned for a few seconds to put some kale in a bag, turned around and Remy was grinning ear to ear chomping on a triangle.  Once again, he was off the GFCF diet.  But for the next two weeks or so he just seemed like a happier kid, made attempts to speak, great eye contact - it was like the bread was a incentive.  However, as the days progressed, he started to show signs that he was addicted to bread.  He would stuff it in his mouth like he was starving, eat more and more and more, and become aggressive if he didn't get it.  

Wish us luck.  We're back on the GFCF diet.  So far so good.  I think what's important is for the whole family to be supportive (eat the same way as much as possible).  I'm also really glad that the Farmers' Markets have started again.  I took Remy to the Withrow Park Organic Farmers' Market two weeks ago in the pouring rain to get Remy some raw crackers that he really liked.  He was so glad to get the little bits that Milijana had for him.  I make raw crackers at home too, but he really likes the ones that Milijana and Zeljko make, namely Berry Byzantine.  The little guy is so motivated by them that he reaches his hands out, makes eye contact and says "Byz... Byz" (sounds like "bees").  

 Above:  Remy sampling some Berry Byzantine from Good Food Conspiracy Co.

Below:  more delicious raw delights including Remy's favourite brownies

Within the home, a GFCF diet shouldn't be difficult as long as everyone eats the same way.  We're taking things day by day.  You'd be amazed at all the great stuff there is to eat and to be creative with when you take away gluten and milk.  

Have yourselves a great weekend!  

Reflections of Appreciation for our First Volunteer

In March I wrote about A Mama and her daughter coming over to our house for a play date.  In summary, Remy was interested in pushing A Mama's daughter during their stay that Little M (the daughter) cried and got upset that a larger boy would want to push her.  Remy also bit A Mama during their first time playing together.  I wasn't expecting that A Mama would come back after that.  Of course, I hoped that she would :)

The following week, I received and email from her saying that she couldn't make it that week, but offered to come the week after.  She's been coming in every week (except 3 occasions due to illness or allergy)!

Although A Mama's volunteering is supposed to be for respite (since she's only able to do 2 hours per week, and only for a period of three months), I've been able to share a lot of Son-Rise principles with her.  She's watched the DVDs and now is reading Happiness is  Choice.  Her volunteering has helped bring inspiration into the Play Room.

Here's a list of the top 10 things I'm grateful for:

1.  Remy playing with someone (other than Mommy) he likes in his room.  Every time he sees her arrive, he immediately takes her bag off, makes her take off her jacket and tugs her to pick him up.  He's also taken her into his Play Room and shut the door on me.  I am grateful for the excitement and joy that A Mama has brought to Remy every volunteer day.

2.  The opportunity to share what I've learned about Son-Rise Program.  This has been my chance to teach and instruct others in the Play Room, share feedback, take notes, etc.

3.  The opportunity to make fermented vegetables and raw crackers/breads.

4.  The opportunity to make some phone calls if needed, pay bills, etc.

5.  She brings up questions that I might not have thought about.

6.  She brings up worthwhile suggestions that I might not have thought about.

7.  Talking to someone else who genuinely cares about the progress and happiness of my child.

8.  A relief from running around in the Play Room, and stepping back to watch someone else play.

9.  A chance to clean up.

10.  A chance to sit down for five minutes to just rest my eyes.

 Here's A Mama in the Play Room with Remy

...and here's me cleaning...

A Mama, thank you so much for your reliable, gentle and fun-filled volunteer time with us.  We appreciate your attitude, your smile, your energy and friendship.  We look forward to seeing you again next week.

Ripping as a Therapy

Remy started ripping paper in our bedroom a few weeks ago.  DH was busy doing something, and Remy seemed to stay quiet and occupied by ripping scrap paper (it was for them to draw on), so he allowed it.  As the days passed, Remy continued to rip paper.  It kept him focused and still :)  

More recently this week, Remy started ripping leaves as well:  my lettuce, raspberry leaves, lily leaves, and other leaves he could find outside.  This gave me the idea to actually have him rip different types paper for texture, sound and feelings.  As you'll see in the following photos, he quite enjoyed it... I did also!  It was SO much FUN... it's like a Fall day of dry leaves on the ground waiting to be thrown in the air, jumped into and enjoyed ;)  

On top of the fun, we also got some vocabulary and some verbal attempts:  "fly, throw, rip, up, shred, tear".  

Thank goodness, he also loved cleaning up, and putting the shredded paper into the recycling!

Enjoy your weekend,

Regaining Momentum for our Son-Rise Program

It's been 6 months (that's half a year) since I attended the Start-Up Program at the Option Institute in Massachusetts. How time flies, and how fast kids grow. During my time at the Option Institute, I had many ideas and excitement rushes through my veins to get our own Son-Rise Program started once I would get back to Canada. Then everyone (especially me) got sick with the flu or something violent. The momentum was somehow slowed.

Then after husband transformed our bedroom into Remy's Room, the momentum seemed to return until sickness sprung up again, then March Break, then Remy ripping off the huge heavy mirror... excuses! The momentum was weak.

Remy and I returned back to the Play Room two weeks ago, and the momentum is starting to gain some speed. What I need more of is actually time to relax, time for myself so that I can be more efficient and effective at what I'm supposed to do: plan and prepare meals, clean, chauffeur, play, clean again. I've been skimping on sleep too, which attributes to my recent tiredness and achiness. Throughout the day, when I catch myself not smiling,I quickly pull the corner of my lips to my ears :) It helps.

DH mentioned to me on our first week back in the PR with Remy to take it easy so I don't "burn out" easily.  I was doing 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon with the little guy.  He also really likes being in  there, it's not hard; however, it is physically demanding since he is around 60 pounds and seeks to be piggybacked or carried a lot of the time.  

This week, I was able to bring out some old toys to add some new charm to the room :)  Fishing, a Clock Puzzle, wood alphabet puzzle and Perfection.

In order to get the momentum going, I need to talk to people, I need to have fun in the Play Room, I need to report on it regularly, I need support from others who know what this is all about, I need volunteers... If you could see these needs in the shape of a circle with arrows pointing in the same direction (for example, all clockwise), you'll see a wheel gaining momentum.

So, the trick is to plan my days with enough rest and relaxation. This will help us gain momentum.

In Love and Light,

and

Goodnight,